Day 7: Drive to Boulder Creek

After rereading our Vegas blog, I realized that it didn't sound too impressive.  What we learned from that portion of the trip is that if you want to party in Vegas, be prepared to spend your life savings.  Only ballers can party hard in Vegas.  You either empty your wallet in the slots while you get free drinks, or pay around $10 a pop at any of the bars.  Our advice:  buy alcohol before and mix in your room.  You can walk on the streets and though the casinos with any type of cup, so long as it is plastic...Just like at home!  Needless to say, we had a great time, but didn't have to file for bankruptcy.

We packed up and headed out for our last leg of the trip: Las Vegas to Boulder Creek.  A ten hour car ride and we arrived at our final destination...2,238 miles from where we started.  On the way, saw signage reading, "Not evereything that happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.  Get tested."; we passed a store selling "Alien Jerky" and also went through an "Agricultural Check-point". The rest of the drive was pretty uneventful, other than stopping at a Popeyes for some much needed sweet tea.

BOULDER CREEK

Days 5 & 6: Las Vegas

Just kidding!  

We stayed two nights at the hotel New York, NY on the Vegas strip. 

Upon check-in, we washed away the canyon dust and got sexed up for a night on the town.  We ate at an Asian infusion restaurant in our hotel called Chin-Chin.  I got the lemongrass pad thai, and Jess got orange chicken, as usual.  We hit up the daiquiri bar and got $20 pina coladas and then lost all of our money in the slots so we decided to talk the strip because that is free!  We saw lots of interesting sights including someone getting arrested in the nude. Day two in Vegas started late....we finally had a break from driving. We went to the Aria hotel and casino (Jess's personal favorite) gorgeous finishes on the interior for a FREE buffet. After the buffet, we went to the miracle mile of shopping on the strip and finally got to go to H&M. We headed back to the hotel to shower up before we headed to Treasure Island to see the Cirque du Soileau show Mystere (the one they showed in Knocked Up when they were tripping on shrooms (with the man baby)). It was insane, beautiful, amazing...everything you would expect from a Vegas show. After the show we toured the Venetian hotel, which has a lovely chlorinated river upon which you and your lover can share a gondola ride while hundreds of strangers stare you down. Luckily, the Venetian has gourmet restaurants that are open until 6am with extremely friendly waitstaffs. After we enjoyed our meal we took a cab back to NYNY where we spent the last hours of the night at an "authentic irish pub" enjoying Boddingtons and the smooth sounds of  a cheesy cover band. Needless to say we met some real characters. We escaped quickly when the lights came up at the pub and headed back to the room...alone.  

 View of the strip from a skywalk.

New Development at CityCenter  (This one is for Ryan and David) 

 Peepshow starring Holly Madison!  

Paris

Hot air balloons inside the Bellagio

Viva Las Vegas.  Next stop, Boulder Creek! 

Day 5: Grand Canyon and Drive to Vegas

The hotel that we stayed in was the oldest, most haunted, hotel in Arizona.  We stayed in the "Wine Room" which entailed decorations of dusty grapes and used wine bottles.  After a delicious omelet breakfast at a nearby cafe where some Italian man implied to us Americans that we were unhealthy because all they had was coffee and we were eating a full-on breakfast, we made the short trek to the Grand Canyon.

Our exploration of the canyon included rock climbing, hiking, sunburns, and photographing ourselves in precarious locations.  See below.  

It was beautiful and indescribable.  

Along the way to our next stop, we took a side trip to the Hoover Dam.  It was pretty DAM impressive! 

We got back in the Saturn for our next stop...VEGAS.  After a four hour drive, we made it to the city of sin.  But, as you know, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas...sorry.  ;) 

Day 4: Drive to Grand Canyon

We had a sleepless night in El Paso.  Osvaldo the concierge at Camino Real sent up the hotel "engineer" (aka AC Repair Man)  at warp speed to fix our broke-ass air conditioner...which included swearing, wiping down the filter, and leaving as quickly as he came.

We geared up for the 9.5 hour drive to the Grand Canyon. Along the way we saw many wondrous sites, including but not limited to the ghettos of Juarez, Mexico, the bones of dinosaurs, a meteor crater, a petrified forest, the 7 circles of hell, vultures feasting on carrion, some ridiculous names of towns, and absolutely no other signs of human life. We also had our citizenship questioned and our lives threatened on several occasions. See below for documentation of these alleged events...

Uncaptionable

I thought it was "truth or dare?"

Our lives were threatened by the most Voo-doolicious bag of chips that nearly exploded.

Day 3: Drive to El Paso

On the road again!

As soon as we got on the highway leaving Austin, an oncoming car rolled over a skunk, causing it to squirt  its nastiness all over our car.  Not too pleasant.  Otherwise, the drive to El Paso was pretty painless.  With an open road and a speed limit of 80 mph, we cruised all the way across west Texas, which I'm pretty sure is where they send you when you die.  We stopped to get gas in Nowhere, USA and were greeted by airplane turbine strength wind that was hot as hell.

We arrived in El Paso around 8 (mountain time now).  Some spicy Latino boys greeted us at the front door of the Camino Real Hotel and gave us our room assignment on the 12th floor.  The room boasted a clear view of a rooftop wedding reception next door at the first high-rise Hilton in the US.

So Hello El Paso, Goodbye El Paso.  It was real for the 15 hours we were there.

Day 2: Austin

We goinnn tubinnnn.

Jared looked amazing and Jess looked like a beach angel as we participated in a group baptism on the Comal river. I wish I had been able to document how beautiful the water was...crystal clear and cold. And as Jared said, "when it gets shallow and you can touch the bottom, it doesn't feel like you are stepping on a dead body!" ...like at home. The river has a limestone floor, keeping it nice and sparkly.

We packed the Liberty Mutual ice chest full of Jeremiah Weed sweet tea and get this...Blue Moon, in a CAN! This river has three "toob shoots" (yes that is how they spell it in Texas, where everything is bigger, even the morons). Basically the river is dammed up, funneling us "toobers" through a water slide. Jess sacrificed her flip flops to the Lady Comal in exchange for sunburn free skin. When we exited the river, we made the glorious decision to take our bus back to the beginning and float the river a second time. We just couldn't get enough of the tribal tattoos. Each trip takes about two hours but I swear the second run only lasted 20 minutes. Our exhaustion and empty bellies lead is to some delicious Tex Mex at Los Reyes (thanks D) before we hit the sheets.

P.S. We got staked out by the Schlitterbahn bicycle patrol and were forced to find parking elsewhere. So, we parked at the home of some lovely Latinos. Upon our return to the car, "Rick", "Lucy" and company invited us to the family barbecue where we shared storied stories of Las Vegas, ate some steak tacos, and one told Jess that she looked like Laura Dunn... Who turns out to be a 45 year old model.

So now Jess and I are on the westward trek to El Paso. We will be representing the caucasian population during our stay at the Camino REAL Hotel. Just about 600 more miles to go. Thank goodness for good music and great company.

Day 1: Austin

Jess and I made it to Austin around 5pm yesterday afternoon and Jared graciously welcomed us into his apartment.  We showered and got fancy, then headed out to dinner.

J-town took his ladies to The Oasis for a delicious dinner overlooking Lake Travis.  After dinner we toured downtown Austin and finally made our way into a bar on West Sixth called Annie West where we spent our night drinking, singing, and dancing.  We also witnessed several cross-bar love connections, including a man celebrating the fact that his woman remembered to take her birth control in the bar!  

Today we are going tubing on the Comal river and then doing some more sightseeing around Austin.