Day 4: Drive to Grand Canyon

We had a sleepless night in El Paso.  Osvaldo the concierge at Camino Real sent up the hotel "engineer" (aka AC Repair Man)  at warp speed to fix our broke-ass air conditioner...which included swearing, wiping down the filter, and leaving as quickly as he came.

We geared up for the 9.5 hour drive to the Grand Canyon. Along the way we saw many wondrous sites, including but not limited to the ghettos of Juarez, Mexico, the bones of dinosaurs, a meteor crater, a petrified forest, the 7 circles of hell, vultures feasting on carrion, some ridiculous names of towns, and absolutely no other signs of human life. We also had our citizenship questioned and our lives threatened on several occasions. See below for documentation of these alleged events...

Uncaptionable

I thought it was "truth or dare?"

Our lives were threatened by the most Voo-doolicious bag of chips that nearly exploded.

Day 3: Drive to El Paso

On the road again!

As soon as we got on the highway leaving Austin, an oncoming car rolled over a skunk, causing it to squirt  its nastiness all over our car.  Not too pleasant.  Otherwise, the drive to El Paso was pretty painless.  With an open road and a speed limit of 80 mph, we cruised all the way across west Texas, which I'm pretty sure is where they send you when you die.  We stopped to get gas in Nowhere, USA and were greeted by airplane turbine strength wind that was hot as hell.

We arrived in El Paso around 8 (mountain time now).  Some spicy Latino boys greeted us at the front door of the Camino Real Hotel and gave us our room assignment on the 12th floor.  The room boasted a clear view of a rooftop wedding reception next door at the first high-rise Hilton in the US.

So Hello El Paso, Goodbye El Paso.  It was real for the 15 hours we were there.

Day 2: Austin

We goinnn tubinnnn.

Jared looked amazing and Jess looked like a beach angel as we participated in a group baptism on the Comal river. I wish I had been able to document how beautiful the water was...crystal clear and cold. And as Jared said, "when it gets shallow and you can touch the bottom, it doesn't feel like you are stepping on a dead body!" ...like at home. The river has a limestone floor, keeping it nice and sparkly.

We packed the Liberty Mutual ice chest full of Jeremiah Weed sweet tea and get this...Blue Moon, in a CAN! This river has three "toob shoots" (yes that is how they spell it in Texas, where everything is bigger, even the morons). Basically the river is dammed up, funneling us "toobers" through a water slide. Jess sacrificed her flip flops to the Lady Comal in exchange for sunburn free skin. When we exited the river, we made the glorious decision to take our bus back to the beginning and float the river a second time. We just couldn't get enough of the tribal tattoos. Each trip takes about two hours but I swear the second run only lasted 20 minutes. Our exhaustion and empty bellies lead is to some delicious Tex Mex at Los Reyes (thanks D) before we hit the sheets.

P.S. We got staked out by the Schlitterbahn bicycle patrol and were forced to find parking elsewhere. So, we parked at the home of some lovely Latinos. Upon our return to the car, "Rick", "Lucy" and company invited us to the family barbecue where we shared storied stories of Las Vegas, ate some steak tacos, and one told Jess that she looked like Laura Dunn... Who turns out to be a 45 year old model.

So now Jess and I are on the westward trek to El Paso. We will be representing the caucasian population during our stay at the Camino REAL Hotel. Just about 600 more miles to go. Thank goodness for good music and great company.

Day 1: Austin

Jess and I made it to Austin around 5pm yesterday afternoon and Jared graciously welcomed us into his apartment.  We showered and got fancy, then headed out to dinner.

J-town took his ladies to The Oasis for a delicious dinner overlooking Lake Travis.  After dinner we toured downtown Austin and finally made our way into a bar on West Sixth called Annie West where we spent our night drinking, singing, and dancing.  We also witnessed several cross-bar love connections, including a man celebrating the fact that his woman remembered to take her birth control in the bar!  

Today we are going tubing on the Comal river and then doing some more sightseeing around Austin.  

california here we come

My best friend Jess is moving to California.  We are leaving tomorrow, er, this morning, and driving cross-country to the West Coast.  Our first stop is Austin, TX to visit our dear friend Jared.  Then from Austin it is on to El Paso, the Grand Canyon, Vegas, and San Francisco.  The purpose of blogging is to document this trip of a lifetime.  Check back to read and see pictures of our adventures.

(Hopefully Jess is game for some writing, she is far more eloquent than me.)